


it's too late for you to make me stay

by Mirandaleigh77



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/M, Implied/Reference Suicide Attempt, Mild Language, Smoking, Underage Smoking, blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12679707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirandaleigh77/pseuds/Mirandaleigh77
Summary: Connor didn’t realize he was across town until he was standing on Jd and Veronica Sawyer’s doorstep. Raising a hesitant hand, Connor took a deep breath and knocked softly. It opened shortly after, Veronica’s curious face peering up at him.“Connor? Hey, what are you doing here?”Connor gets in a fight with his parent's and ends up at the Dean/Sawyer house.tw; read the description for more details





	it's too late for you to make me stay

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> -Blood Mention  
> -Past suicide attempt  
> -vague description of past suicide attempt  
> -arguing and lots of self-deprecation
> 
> If any of these trigger you, please don't read! Keep yourself safe. If there are any that I've missed, please let me know and I'll tag them! xx
> 
> title from the song Running Away by Midnight Hour

    Connor walked in the house, messenger bag slung over his shoulder and hair a mess from the wind outside. He dropped the bag beside the door and fell onto the leather couch that took up most of their living room. It was only a matter of time before his parents got home, so he turned on the television and propped his feet up on the coffee table. With a rerun of Say Yes To the Dress and his lukewarm bottle of water left from school, Connor let himself finally relax.

    An episode had gone by when Connor heard the sound of tires pulling into the driveway. He turned off the television and looked up expectantly as the front door opened, his parents stepping through.

    “Connor, what have I told you a million times? No feet on the table.”

    “Right. Sorry, Cynthia.”

    His father sighed heavily, “Connor, respect your mother.”

    “I will when she returns the favor.” Connor’s voice was lax, but the sarcasm was still evident.

    “Listen to yourself!” His father’s voice raised. “You sound like a spoiled teenager.”

    “If I did, at least someone in this family would finally be listening to me.”

    Cynthia crossed her arms. “We listen!”

    Connor stood, his body tensing. “Really? Because last time when you were supposed to be listening, I was ready to kill myself.”

    His father’s face turned scarlet. “Don’t you dare turn that on us!”

    “Yeah, because it’s my fault that I want to fucking die,” Connor said bitingly.

    “Connor, stop talking like that!”

    “Why?” Connor held out his arms. “Because you can’t handle it? You don’t want to listen to your fuck up of a son? News flash, you never have.” He stalked over to the door, grabbing his bag and slinging the strap over his shoulder. He walked out, letting the door slam with a resounding bang.

    Without a direction in mind, he started walking. He passed countless buildings and faceless people. Connor didn’t realize he was across town until he was standing on Jd and Veronica Sawyer’s doorstep. Raising a hesitant hand, Connor took a deep breath and knocked softly. It opened shortly after, Veronica’s curious face peering up at him.

    “Connor? Hey, what are you doing here?”

    He tried to explain himself, but the words caught in his throat. Seeing his expression, Veronica’s own face softened.

    “Here, come in. It’s getting cold out. We can talk in the living room,” she said softly, opening the door fully to let him in. Connor thanked her quietly and stepped in, shivering with the sudden change of temperature. As he sat his bag down by the door, he observed the home.

    It was warm in the apartment, but not unbearably so. Picture frames and posters covered the walls while papers and other various objects weighed down any flat surface. It wasn’t the most clean, but it was very obviously loved and lived in. Connor figured that they both had better things to worry about than a clean room; college was a bitch, as far as Jd told him. Veronica seemed to enjoy it, but Jd was mostly along for the better job opportunities- also to make Veronica happy.

    “Here, sit down. Just...push everything out of the way.” The older girl moved the blankets and textbooks from the couch, piling them on the floor beside it. She sat down and smiled reassuringly when Connor did the same.

    “So what’s going on? No offense, but you don’t look that great.”     “Wow, thanks V,” Connor muttered, however there was no heat behind it. He rubbed his hands over his knees as he took a breath. Shrugging slightly, he sighed.

    “I had a...falling out of sorts with my parents. I wouldn’t usually care, but some things got brought up that…” His voice failed him as he felt his throat close off. Veronica needed no more explanation as she frowned.

    “Shit, Connor I’m sorry. You know you’re always welcome here. Do you want to talk about it? You know I’ll listen.”

    Connor scratched the back of his neck. “That’s kind of what it was about. They never listen. Not when I’m just talking, and not even when I tried to tell them about…” Once again, his voice failed him as the boy struggled to keep his breathing even. Veronica grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it to encourage him.

    “Last year, when I tried to commit suicide...that wasn’t the first time. I’d always been the weirdo-the one who threw a printer in second grade.” Connor laughed dryly and shook his head. “I told them how I was feeling. I told them how...awful I felt. They just said I wanted attention. That I was just acting out again, like I always have. Guess it was a shock for them when I bloodied up our bathroom floor.”

    Connor could feel how hard he was shaking as Veronica pulled him into her arms. Silent tears were running down his cheeks steadily. Even through the mess in his eyes, he saw when Jd walked in. They boy was dirty from work, his clothes oil stained and ripped with holes in some places. When the older boy saw the two of them on the couch, he immediately walked over and sat down on Connor’s other side to bracket the boy between himself and Veronica. The trembling boy let himself enjoy the embrace for a moment, his eyes falling shut with a shuddering breath. After a minute, he looked up at Jd.

    “Hey…,” Connor whispered, the corners of his lips barely turning up as he wiped his cheeks with his sleeves.

    “Hey, Connor,” Jd mumbled, gently squeezing the boy’s knee. “How you feeling?”

    Connor shrugged. “I’ve been worse.”

    “I know the feeling.” Jd pulled a worn packet of cigarettes from his pocket. “Wanna smoke?”

    Veronica’s face hardened. “Jd.”

    Connor nodded. “That sounds good, actually. Thanks for trying to look out for my health, V. Someone has to. We can’t all quit like you did.” Veronica just smiled and shooed them away playfully. Both of them stood and made their way outside, Jd leaning down to peck his girlfriend on the lips. In less than a minute, there was smoke curling from both of the boys’ lips.

    “Parents can be really shitty sometimes,” Connor grumbled.

    “Yeah, I know.” Jd turned to face him, blowing smoke from the corner of his mouth. “But there isn’t much you can do about them.”

    “I just wish they would listen. It just seems like they don’t care. I’m their son…”

    Jd wrapped an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders. “Yeah, but it has to work on both sides. You’ve gotta try too.”

    Connor took a drag, holding the smoke in his lungs and revelling in the warm it spread. “I’ve tried before. They still don’t listen. If I act out, at least I have their attention. I just hate that I have to resort to dumb shit and feeling this miserable to feel like any more than a speck of dust to them.”

    Jd stayed silent for a minute, eyes focused on a point in the distance. He patted Connor on the back and muttered, “I’ll be right back.” The older boy walked back into the house, leaving Connor alone on the balcony. He took another long drag of the cigarette between his fingers as he waited and thought. He knew Jd could relate to his story, the older boy having come from a shitty home himself. Connor wondered if Jd thought that he sounded like a spoiled rich kid complaining like this, but pushed the thought away quickly. Jd came back just as he was stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray by the doors.

    “Hey, man. Don’t think that you have to say yes or anything. I was just thinking...how about you stay here with us for a while until you feel okay to go back again? I asked Veronica, and she thinks it’d be good. We’ve got a guest bedroom sorta made up.” Jd looked almost shy as he asked, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. Connor stood in a sort of stunned silence as he processed the question.

    “Really? You want me to stay with you guys?”

    Jd shrugged and said teasingly, “I mean, not for nothing. You’ll have to help with some cleaning or food, but you’re welcome to take care of all the chores if you want.”

    Connor smiled and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

    Jd grinned and clapped him on the back as they walked back in the house. “C’mon, you can get started on the cleaning now. I had a psych exam yesterday that’s dominating the coffee table.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of continuing this storyline in some short fics. If you like this fic and that is something you would enjoy, leave a comment down below!


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